Sunday, August 27, 2017

Saturday Spanks


Good Morning and Happy Sunday! I hope all are doing well.
It's been a busy weekend here! As usual Saturday was full of running around and getting errands and shopping done. Today we have a birthday party for our oldest child to prepare for. The kids are at the park and I have a sleeping baby and a birthday cake in the oven.
As hectic as things have been lately with all I have to do, I am trying to slow down and notice all the blessings around me. My older kids sitting and playing checkers together, my preschooler chatting my ear off about all her favorite foods at breakfast, kisses on the nose and hugs from all of them, love notes from my oldest girl about how I'm the best mom in the world, baby cuddles and coos and the sweet smell of an infant when I pick her up in the morning, innocence. They won't always be this small and its a struggle sometimes to embrace  mommy hood all over again with a new baby and also try to hang onto the me that I am with my husband, his wife, his submissive, his little girl. I love our lifestyle together. I love that I'm getting back into my blogging and writing and getting to know others in the community again. I love getting myself back together, my focus, my body, my individuality. Yet it's a struggle sometimes with all that I am outside of those things to find that perfect balance of who I am as an individual, a wife, a submissive and a mother. I know we've all been there and we all know what that struggle is like. And really, I wouldn't have it any other way. My hands are full but I'd rather have them full than empty! And in spite of  all the demands I am keeping up and have found renewed strength as I've embarked upon all that is required of me.

Now as we re- embrace the full practice of our dynamic and I try to juggle all of my roles, I find that I am not where I was in my submission to J. I have found that I was much more devoted to him before and much more willing to acquiesce to his wishes and authority. I've even found myself snapping at him much more regularly which of course results in me going over his lap, sometimes daily, even more than once a day!
I'm sure hormones and just plain business are at work here but my focus lately as his submissive needs to be to improve in my submission to him.

So here is how last night went...

I sat in the living room with our children trying to calm them all down for the evening with a game of I Spy. During the game J reprimanded one of our children to which my mama bear reared her head at him...not good. Unacceptable, not allowed, especially in front of our children is it for me to have an attitude with him.
Anyhow as I worked in the kitchen later cleaning up the dinner dishes he came up behind me and gave me a hug. I turned around and snuggled into his embrace and we talked softly together. I apologized for snapping at him earlier to which he replied, "I can't let you get away with that. But it'll be okay."
My heart soared, "So I'm not in trouble," I asked hopefully.
He looked at me. "You are in trouble. But you can take it."
My heart sunk. This has been happening almost daily.

There was still much to do. I cleaned up the kitchen and took dinner out for the next night, tended to the baby and read stories to our older children while J took care of showers and baths and got kids dressed and teeth brushed for bed.
Later as I sat with my tablet responding to emails, the time was getting later and I almost thought I was in the clear when he called me to him.
"Yeah?" I called trying to sound innocent.
Silence...
Darn! The man hadn't forgotten.

I went down to the "dungeon" to him. I have labeled our basement this because I hate when he spanks me down there, although with a baby in our room we don't really have much of a choice.

When I got to him he hugged me and I unsuccessfully tried to distract him with my chatter. He kept me in his embrace while simultaneously tugging down the pants and then the panties followed.
And then he took out the wand, our silent implement that hurts like a mother but doesn't make any noise when used, except from the sub!
He sat and put me over his lap and wasted no time in beginning and I gasped, digging my feet into the carpet to try and take it without moving. He lectured as he continuously brought the wand down hard. I don't remember much of what he said but I do remember this...

"You will not speak to me like that. Do you understand me?"
I nodded into the couch with hands over my face, gasping and digging my feet into the floor. He paused a moment seemingly waiting for the "Yes Sir, Yes Daddy" that I couldn't speak. I know he wants me to get to the place where I can say this during the punishment.

As he continued I felt my body try to relax and lay over his lap without being rigid. As I did this I found that the spanking seemed easier to take. It still hurt like anything but the act of trying to submit physically and absorb it rather than fight it with being tense seemed to help.

When he finished he sat me up and held me and spoke softly to me and I nodded in response to him in his chest. I have to say I think it broke down some barrier that I had up as I feel much more connected to him today than I have in quite a while as I've struggled submitting.  He mentioned feeling that we should begin maintenance sessions during our check ins each morning in order to get me in the head space to submit throughout the day which would hopefully cut down on the punishment spanks he's doling out. We used to use this method before and though it means a tender backside nearly every day at least its not as hard as the punishments are.

So once we were rekindled and in a good place again I could tell he was a bit (eh hem) needy and so I took care of the man like a good little sub.
And then we enjoyed our in- home date night catching up on Outlander with some rum and coke and a good snuggle. We actually had NO interruptions which was totes amazing!

Well that's the scoop here! Wish me luck as I try to stay out of trouble this next week as homeschool starts up and we adjust to our fall routine.

Hope you all take good care and thanks for stopping by!

Jlynne





6 comments:

  1. Hey, JLynne,
    Breathe in that sweet newborn smell, it truly is amazing. I loved your post today. Very honest and open about how it doesn't take much to snap when everything is weighing you down. Very hard to submit, but you got there and that is beautiful. Great post!
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi...and welcome to blog land...Baker led me to you. I echo her words, it can be very hard to submit, M and I have been at it for...at least 17 years...and there are times it is still hard. Will be catching up on your older posts when I get a chance...hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Baker! Submission truly is an art. Thanks for the encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Abby,
    Thank you for the welcome and the encouragement! It's good to know I'm not alone in the submissive struggle. As my hubby says, DD is great when it's working. When it's challenging, well, it's like anything else that we strive for, it takes practice and persistence.
    I plan to stop by your blog very soon. I'm sure I can learn a lot from you.
    Thanks so much for stopping over!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Jlynne

    I haven't ready your entire blog so if this comment seems like it has come out of left field, I apologize in advance. I just wanted to comment on this portion you wrote,

    "Now as we re- embrace the full practice of our dynamic and I try to juggle all of my roles, I find that I am not where I was in my submission to J. I have found that I was much more devoted to him before and much more willing to acquiesce to his wishes and authority. "

    It has been my personal experience, and I have also observed this through many discussions with friends that this 'reaction' is quite typical and normal. So fear not. My theory on the matter is the fact that at the start of our D/s-Dd adventure it is akin to a honeymoon season. All is exciting and new, and while there are expectations, they are things we hope and wish for. As time goes on in our dynamic our expectations are based on past history/experiences from our existing dynamic. This of course is true on both sides. Mind you we do ( Or rather *I* do) have a tendency to forget or romanticize the past and how good/great we were, as subs, or they were as Doms LOL.

    Anyway, sounds like your husband is trying and so are you. As Abby said ( though she has 12 more years experience on me in these matters) it is a struggle at times. It is very difficult to meld the pieces of oneself ( in charge Mommy, home school teacher (?) position of wife as perceived by the outside world) while remaining true to your inner core- the submissive.

    The good news is, it can and will come- usually after many road blocks and much struggling....but there comes a day, or can, where more often than not at least you feel it and except it deep in your bones and despite what goes on around you, you embrace it fully.

    But again, that doesn't mean you don't hit ruts!!! snort. Enjoy the process, and the discoveries. After all the adventure lies in travel, not the destination.

    willie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Wilma,
    I apologize for the delay in my response. It was such a nice surprise to see you here!
    I totally agree with you. Sometimes submission comes so easily and things are smooth. Other times it is much more of a challenge to be in that mindset with all the distractions of everyday life let alone stressful events that can come up. The happiest I have ever felt was when things were smooth and easy but then I suppose perhaps that is submission untested. The ruts help us grow and fine tune what we say we have. They put us to the test and either make us eat our words or cling to the roots of our primitive needs all the more.
    Thanks so much for stopping by!
    And I would love to visit your blog as well if you would find this amendable.

    Jlynne

    ReplyDelete