Sunday, January 14, 2018

Answers to Bakers Meme

Today is a new day and I wanted to join the bandwagon and answer the questions from Bakers Meme! Thanks for thinking of these Baker. These are very thoughtful questions. I think it is great to reflect on things from time to time so here goes:)

1.  Are you an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between?  What about your HOH? 

Definately an introvert. In some situations when with friends I can be a bit of an extrovert but generally I am the quieter one in a group. I tend to think and ponder a lot so this is reflected in my outward personality. I've been told that I think too much!
J is also an introvert. When we are together with others he is even quieter than I am. We do talk a lot at home with each other but tend to clam up when we are with others.

2.  At what age did you realize that spanking was something you were into and at what length did you go to hide it?  Did your HOH know?  For those of you who began your marriage with spanking do you think anything from your childhood helped you to be more accepting of the spanking lifestyle.

I realized this at a very early age (maybe 4 or so). I would draw pictures of a parent spanking there child and I was 'fascinated' by spanking depicted in books and movies/ cartoons. Spanking was something that happened in my childhood and although I was terrified of incurring the punishment I found I was also fascinated by it. I'm not really sure why this was although I think it may have stemmed from the need for my father to forgive me afterward. He tended to regard me as the black sheep of the family and I never really felt excepted by him so I think my curiosity/ need stems from that. Although I 'can' enjoy erotic spanking it really wasn't what brought me to DD. I was way more attracted to/ felt the need for discipline to keep me within healthy boundary limits. Having limits made me feel safe and protected and I craved the forgiveness factor that comes afterward.
As a teenager I knew I was attracted to spanking but I also knew that I had a deep emotional tie to that fascination. The thought of spanking generally made me want to cry rather than turning me on (although at times it could do both). I didn't understand it and would not want anyone to find out really although I did write poems that had spanking in them and I did let one boyfriends know about it and spank me a couple times. This boyfriend was the one that told me about BDSM and suggested that perhaps that's "what I had". At that point I confused my need for discipline with a fetish because that's all I knew to liken the need to.

3.  Do you know of anyone else in your family who practices DD, TTWD, etc.?  And how did you come to learn that they did?

No but I do have an interesting story to tell.
My grandfather was a minister and one day when my dad was around age 7, he and my grandmother had an argument. She got so worked up that she packed her suitcase and threatened to leave the house. Well my dad got so scared that he began to cry and went to his dad and begged him not to let her go. My grandfather, a very quiet, soft- spoken man went over to the door and put her over his knee and spanked her right there in front of my dad. Today they are the most harmonious couple I know and I admire their relationship. My grandma also calls him "daddy" which I know is not "Daddy- Dom related but in reference to him being the "daddy" of their children but it's still cool.

4.  Are you a homebody or outgoing?  To me this is different than being an introvert or extrovert.  You can be an introvert and still love to go to museums or a ball game.  You can also be an extrovert and love to just have people over and entertain in your home rather than going elsewhere.

Homebody all the way! I do like to go out but I love being in the comfort of my own home more. I find being with others enjoyable but draining and usually need to recharge afterwards which I know is the introvert in me but it does make it more comfortable to be home.

Homebody all the way! I do like to go out but I love being in the comfort of my own home more. I find 
5.  How do you view blogging?  Is it an outlet?  A way you process?

It is definitely an outlet and the way I process. It is also a means to document my journey with J and to meet others in the lifestyle for support.

6.  What tendencies do you see in your DD or TTWD friends and bloggers?  Warning this one may be sensitive to answer.  I am in no way trying to criticize these are simply observations or things that may be similarities between us.

I think like others have said that it is a place we can all be safe to come and share and find support in a way that we won't find judgment. I think we all need that. As far as similarities in personalities, we all have our differences, however I do think that many of us (myself included) struggle with insecurities or difficulties with anxieties and/ or depression. This is not the case for all of us though and I don't think it's our sole reason for wanting this at all, but I do think that this lifestyle helps us cope with these types of things.
I also think that many of the women that are attracted to this lifestyle are very strong women and just need a place in their life that they can relinquish control and let go a bit.
 I think that many of us are cautious with our identities which I totally get as this is a sensitive subject matter that can be easily misunderstood. I think it is wise to get to know someone for a good period of time before sharing personal details with them.

7.  Are you a lover of the printed word?

Yes! I love to read. Novels especially!

8.  Do you view yourself as a submissive?

No not generally. My personality is very independent. I do view myself, now, as submissive to J but it took a great deal of time and effort for me to get there and I am still evolving of course.

9.  Last question.  What traits do you see in your HOH that help you follow his lead?

J is stronger than I am emotionally (and physically) but it's his emotional strength and his ability to support me when I'm weak that has always made me feel cherished and protected. That has been true even in the early days of our relationship way before we ever heard of DD.
He is a "doer" and he keeps me going, keeps me on my toes when I want to give in and quit or succumb to my depression. I admire his example and value his influence in my life.
There are other traits of course and some have developed after our beginning DD, but this trait is the one that stands out to me because it is authentically his and the one that has given me strength since the very beginnings of our relationship.

Thank you Baker for thinking up these questions. This was fun to participate in. Looking forward to reading everyone else's responses!



  1. Hi Jlynne,these are great questions from Baker and I'm enjoying reading everyone's answers. I enjoyed reading your answers and learning a little more about you. I loved the story about your grandparents :)


  2. Thanks Roz!
    It was fun. I wish you were doing it. Would love to know more of your story as well:)


  3. Hi, Jlynne,
    Wow! Your answers showed such great insight and I'm definitely encouraged by your answers. Many of us have held the fascination of spanking since we were young. We also all view are men as strong and I love that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I really appreciate it.

  4. Thanks Baker! This was a great idea. I would love to do a meme for the HOH's! I wonder if anyone else would be up for it?

  5. I loved reading this, such thoughtful answers....glad you joined it. hugs abby