I thought about this. Doesn't that make the woman the leader? Isn't that backwards? It's basically suggesting that by myself (the submissive) submitting to my husbands standards it will in turn help him to follow them as well.
I thought about what I had talked about with the other wife. If the boundaries are there because they are J's (and my) wishes for our home- hopefully I would do them anyway- but by the thought process specified in this book I am not just doing them for myself alone but for J. If my submission to J actually helps him to also live up to those standards and take on the role of leadership in the home I am actually helping him by being submissive to him. In turn I feel protected because I now have a reason to live within the boundaries besides simply the mere reason that "I would anyway."
And so perhaps this is why I feel protected by the boundaries that J sets forth? Because I now have someone besides myself to live within them for.J backs up those boundaries with his authority and also lives by those boundaries himself that way if I ever don't feel like I want to obey the guidelines, his authority is there to keep me where I need to be.
I am becoming aware that the role of the submissive carries far more influence and power than I thought. So I want to encourage other submissive wives...
Don't think you have nothing to give. Your role is important and necessary! We help our men become leaders. They need our help to embrace their role and we are to be a help meet to them.
The line above goes on to say that spouses also tend to live up to the esteem they receive from their mate. Men need to be built up and encouraged, thanked and shown appreciation for what they do for us. It's a lot we ask of them! This lifestyle, therefore, is not just about our needs as submissives but about filling the deepest needs of our husbands as well. The man wants to be your hero. He wants to know you need him. There is nothing more humiliating to a mans masculinity than a woman cutting him down verbally.
It says submission is a decision to yield to an authority. So apparently my submission to J also is something that esteems him thus encouraging his leadership in that way. He in turn will live up to his calling and meet my need for leadership because I am esteeming his role with my encouragement, appreciation and my submission to his lead.
This is the value in the submitted woman. Her self- control to live within her role is what is beautiful. She is of value to her husband in the way that by living within her role (physically and emotionally) she encourages his growth as a leader.
The woman may be the "weaker" vessel physically but she is strong in spirit.
There is a cyclical nature to what takes place within this type of a dynamic. Our gift is our spirit which encourages our husband to lead. Their gift in turn is their strength which encourages our submission. Our submission fuels their mind and strength and in turn their leadership feeds our heart and soul. They are the head of the home and we are the heart of the home. Harmony can be found when we gift each other with the beauty of the role we were intended to live within.